Why saying “it’s my passion” doesn’t impress colleges

#collegeapps #writing #avoidingclichés #passion

“That summer, I discovered my passion for computers.”

If I had a dollar for every time I read a version of that sentence, I’d probably be as rich as Elon Musk (or at least have enough moola to buy a Tesla or two).

“Passion” is one of the most overused words in college application essays. On the one hand, it makes sense why. Whether it’s coding or chemistry, business or beekeeping, everyone’s got something that fuels their fire – something naturally worth sharing with the admissions team at your dream college!

But think about it … “passion” can be pretty vague, right? When you say you realized your “passion for healthcare” as a hospital intern, the reader doesn’t automatically get what you mean. Did the intellectual challenge of diagnosing a hard-to-pin-down disease energize you? Or were you drawn to the role of the chaplain who comforted anxious families in the waiting room? Perhaps you came alive translating for recently immigrated patients from Mexico who couldn’t speak English?

Those kinds of questions lie beneath the “it’s my passion” cliché. Answering them will differentiate you from thousands of other applicants who are equally “passionate” about your chosen field. Let’s look at 3 examples of how to get super specific with the things you love to do and learn about:

⚠️ Cliché (Example #1)

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve been passionate about medicine.”

Reference to an unspecified moment in the distant past – doesn’t add much. Unclear what aspect of medicine you’re interested in and why.

✅ Revision (Example #1)

“The endocrinologist I was shadowing always began the same way: with a finger-prick blood glucose reading. But from there, each appointment took a different turn. In one conversation with a patient, Dr. Lee focused on adjusting insulin dosing. The next turned to implementing a solid breakfast routine before an early morning commute. Another was about finding exercises that wouldn’t aggravate chronic knee pain. 

As I realized that treating diabetes required grasping the particularities of every individual patient’s life, I grew fascinated by the concept of precision medicine.”

Paints a clear picture of a profound insight you gained and where your curiosity led you to next.

⚠️ Cliché (Example #2)

“Driven by my passion for engineering, I would regularly stay up until 2 or 3 am tinkering with my robots.”

What does that “tinkering” actually entail and why was it exciting? Also, admissions officers aren’t usually that impressed by quantity of effort (the classic “I spent sleepless nights hard at work” cliché) – quality of effort matters more.

✅ Revision (Example #2)

“I couldn’t stop wondering why my robot kept drifting left. I rewrote the navigation algorithm five times, but that didn’t help. On a whim, I took a closer look at the underside of the robot and discovered the culprit: a slightly bent axle. I’d been so fixated on fixing my code that I overlooked a minor mechanical flaw.

That moment has since shifted my approach to every engineering project. Now, instead of just asking, “How do I make this work?” I question the foundations of my thinking: “What assumptions am I making that deserve to be challenged?”

Demonstrates a commitment to critical thinking. Initial anecdote gets purposefully linked to how you see the world today.

⚠️ Cliché (Example #3)

“Starting my own candle business helped me discover my passion for entrepreneurship.”

Reader misses the story of how you created this business and what you found meaningful about that journey.

✅ Revision (Example #3)

“Three out of my first ten customers returned my handmade candles. At first, I felt demoralized. In my head, I blamed shipping delays, my pricing structure, and even the fragrances I’d chosen. But then I decided to stop speculating and call each customer personally. I asked them, “What made you decide to return your candles?”

To my surprise, none of them complained about the scent or price. They all said that the wooden wick kept burning out after a few minutes.

So I started sourcing new, more durable wicks. Over the next four months, my sales increased fourfold and returns became rare. It wasn’t because I’d become a master candlemaker overnight. Instead, I had taken my customers’ criticisms to heart, embracing them as an opportunity to improve my product.”

Reveals the type of entrepreneur you grew into: humble, adaptable, and customer-centered. The learning moment is grounded in impact and deeper reflection.

Have a “passion” you want to spotlight in your college essay but aren’t sure how to make it unique to you? Share it in the comments below, and I’ll give you some ideas!